Monday, 7 February 2011

20 Days of WoW: Day 1 - Introduce yourself

Now we shall ignore - just for a moment - that I never managed to finish the last one. However, this time round, I'll only start about a week late. Might work in my favour.

Saga over at Spellbound started a new list of things. So I shall cheat on day 1, and we'll see how it goes from here.

My favourite introduction ever is this one:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
Stolen from here.
And in the same vein of things...

Taken from here, this is also not me. It's also, apparently, not Paladin Schmaladin who was once famous for pretending to be that person.

In real life I probably weigh about twice that, am decidedly not a girl and married to this lovely person. I am currently guilded in Vengeance on Alonsus (EU) and we are recruiting for our raids. If you are not a druid and amazing, please join us. If you are a druid ... err ... I don't know. I think we have too many of those. Enough to fill a raid. With druids. Much like these people.
Sensible posting will commence soon - when I don't have to reveal too much information about myself.

1 comment:

  1. That is definitely one of the best introductions ever ;)