Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Drivers in my Raids?

So I was away for a day and got to spend some time on the lovely german Autobahn - and in traffic jams and in a near-crash in the city and on a few very intriguing parking lots. I couldn't help notice that some people have a certain ... hmm... peculiarity about their driving (unlike me - my driving is flawless and perfect, of course) that makes me want to compare them to raiders.

Let's pick a few entirely random examples - so I can add more later, if I ever think of something else.

1. The oblivious dps/driver.

Maybe a bit of an introduction here. The common myth of "there is no speed limit on the german Autobahn" is sadly just a myth. We have a ton of enforced speed limits - but there are stretches (apparently around 30% of the whole network) where it is true. You are allowed to go as fast as your car and nerves can manage. Unless - and this is rather interesting - you're driving in a lorry of more than 7.5 tons (then the limit is 80 kph), a campervan (same 80), dragging a caravan (same 80 - and why would one?) or transporting dangerous materials like, say, explosives or petrol or something (limited to 60 kph then).

On the average 2 lane Autobahn that results in .. well... lorries on the right, going about 92 (minus three for the sensitivity of the equipment means they clock in at less than 10 too fast in police controls and such) and everyone else going on the left lane - as fast as they can. Most people are quite good and switch to the right lane when they see a faster car approaching (or even by default - although that is more rare).

After the introduction: the main part. The oblivious driver is going in the right lane, as fast as he dares. Usually about .. oh.. say... 94 kph. He is sloooooooooowly creeping up to a lorry in front of him. The main protagonist of this story (that would be, erm, this flawless driver here) approaches said scene as fast as he can. My car will (with a bit of lucky wind and a bit of a run-up) go a speedy 199 kph. Difference in speed to the lorry: 107. For the English (and other metrically challenged) that comes out roughly as 67 mph. So it's practically the same situation as driving past a parked lorry, really.

Except ... in this case the other participant choses exactly that moment to pull out to overtake himself. At a massive speed difference of 2 kph. My grandma walks faster than that with her crutches! In theory there are three mirrors on his car. My lights are on. He should see me coming (and 199 kph is not that fast - it's not like my car would magically appear in his mirrors).

Remember this type of person? Yeah.. the hunters who slowly back into the next group, the shamans who leave their totems in the path of the boss and the rogues who sit down in the middle of a patrol path going afk in stealth, assuming it turns them into some sort of ethereal and invisible creature of goodness and delight! No situational awareness whatsoever.

2. The rogue/mage who appears in the fire!

This is probably universal. Suicidal bicyclists. The appear out of nowhere, made no sound whatsoever and suddenly blink into the fire appear in front of someones car. I don't even blame them too much. They probably thought it was safe a moment ago - until the boss dropped that wall of fire, that is, or the lorry cleared away.

Unlucky and sneaky at the same time.

And on a much, much lighter note:

3. The druid offtank.

In the car next to me, stuck in traffic was probably the perfect bear offtank. Mother of three, she managed to hold aggro on all of them, while keeping the "mouth stuffed with food" and "littelest one distracted with a picture book" debuffs up. While driving. At a reasonable speed. In the middle of rush hour. I have no idea how she did it, but someone like that might be a real asset. You know.. switching forms just as you need them, always ready to help out with a heal just as your healers get overwhelmed, using barkskin a microsecond before taking heavy damage and so on and so forth.

Of course, in real life it's probably exactly the other way round, and the poor mom would be a keyboard turner, while the oblivious driver just had a bad day and is actually in an arena team rated at 3400.

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